First thing that went wrong was hotel room booking errors at the hotel. Joy’s mom was getting upset, but in the end it worked out. Number two, the priest pronounced Joy’s name as “Joyann” not “Joyanna”. Number three, the wine in the Church was not where it was supposed to be. And there were probably more issues than this, but this is just evidence that nothing is perfect at a wedding. Some people might have found these things tragic. May have ruined their day. But not us. After all the planning, the months of work, and thousands of dollars spent, there is only one day you can do when that special day comes. Roll with the punches.

Wedding planning books and articles will tell you how to plan for your wedding. Which side of the family buys the flowers, and which colors to wear for the season. But the most important thing that they can or should be telling you is that you can’t let the little things get you down. If we counted all the little things that were wrong, there would be a lot. At the end of the day, we still got married. We still had a great time dancing at the reception.

When you are getting married, people will always tell you that your day will go by so fast that you won’t remember everything, and you won’t eat your own cake. Let me tell you, it’s the truth. I danced with Joy once all night, and that was our first dance. The only cake that I had was the piece that was shoved down my throat during the cake cutting, and I tried eating all of my dinner, but people tore me out of my seat.

My last piece of advice, other than have fun is this: Because things will go wrong on your wedding day, buffer yourself from it. You have a Best Man and a Maid of Honor for a reason. They aren’t just the ones that throw you parties, but they can take care of stuff for you. If you need something done, ask your Best to do it, don’t do it yourself. And don’t have your family do it either. This is their day as much as it is yours.

So if you are getting married or you are going to a wedding, just remember to go out there and have fun.

The real secret to having a great wedding (or any great large party) is all in the planning. For over a year now, we have been planning this occasion. And when I say we, I don’t mean just Joy and myself. I’m talking about our families and friends as well. Let us now go into an almost step by step check list for planning a wedding.

Pick a Date

After you have decided that you are going to get married, it is time to pick a date for the wedding. First, give yourself enough time to plan. Putting the wedding at least a year off is a good idea. This gives you just enough time to plan out your wedding. Another thing to think about is which time of the year you like. Have you always wanted a summer wedding? Or maybe a fall wedding? Maybe you would like to get married on New Year’s Eve. Remember, if you chose a holiday wedding, prices will be higher for locations and vendors. Other things to keep in mind is calendar conflicts — are you are planning the wedding the same day your sister is graduating from college?

Pick a Location(s)

There are several locations you need to think about. If you are religious, which Church, temple, etc. will you be getting married in? If you are having a Justice of the Peace ceremony, is that going to be at the same place as the reception? Outdoors or indoors? If you are going to be using a house of worship, say your home parish, book that location first. Churches, temples and other religious gathering places have set schedules, and if you are getting married on a Saturday, they will want you out before the afternoon service starts rolling in. After you know what time and where you ceremony is going be, start looking for a place to have your reception. This is where things get tricky with the times the Church gives you versus the times the reception hall gives you. If you go to a banquet facility (or as they are called in the industry, wedding factories) they will be more strict as to your time slot. If someone is having a reception starting in Hall A at 6:00 PM, you can’t start yours till 6:30 PM. And when it’s over, it’s over, because if you have an early wedding, they have another one coming in right after you. Hotels, on the other hand, are more flexible. Events aren’t their primary revenue source, like they are for reception halls, so they can afford to just have your wedding booked for the day and nothing else. This allows for more flexible hours in your start and stop time. And if you are the only event that day, the staff won’t be tired from working a wedding earlier. The other advantage to the hotel is many of them include a hotel room for the couple to stay in that night, as well as special rates for your guests so you don’t have to worry about friends and family driving home after drinking. When you are picking your halls, take your time. Don’t let the first place you see talk you into booking (even if that is the one you go with). You want to go, see the facility, and imagine how many people you are going to have in there. A good question to ask is the if hall will comfortably fit the targeted number of guests. Then taste the food at every location. In the end you want to pick a place that looks good, has good food, offers a lot at a price that fits your budget.

The third and forth location you need are your photo locations. If you are a year away from your wedding take time to go to different parks and see what the flowers look like during that time of year. Also, take a camera with you, this way you can take photos at the various locations and compare them later. Forth, you’ll need a back-up photo location in case, you guessed it, it rains (or sleets, or hails, or meteor showers). I know no one wants it to rain on their wedding day, but it’s going to happen. And best be ready for it. Whether you plan on staying and doing photos in the Church, or the reception hall has a nice place to take them, you need this plan. Even check some newer office buildings in the area. We have our rain location in an office building that has a waterfall inside. If you don’t know where to look, start asking your vendors. We were tipped off by the girl we booked the hotel with.

Two more pieces of advice about locations. In regards to rain or inclement weather, you need to think long and hard about that outdoor wedding. I know they look beautiful on TV, but depending on which part of the country you live in, there is always a good chance of rain. Remember, you just spent $3,000 on a wedding dress, do you really want mud all over it?

Lastly, please try not make your ceremony and your reception more than 30 minutes away from each other. Your guests are already spending a lot of money to go to your wedding. Some have already traveled to get there, and they are bringing you gifts. The one thing guests at weddings don’t like are traveling far between locations, and waiting a long time between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the cocktail hour. People are dressed up and ready to party, don’t stop them.

Vendors – Photos/Video

Once you have the locations figured out, it’s time to start picking out vendors. Again, like with the reception hall, take your time. Most photographers and videographers have samples of their work online. Right away you can start wedding people out based on their style. Then make arrangements to meet with them to see their work, and just as important to see them. Remember that for 8 – 10 hours, these people are going to be video taping and taking photos of you. This will be the most attention you have ever received your whole life (unless you are a celebrity, in which case, stop reading this and hire someone to do all this). What you need to do is make sure that you like the person that will be taking photos. They need to be someone that you will feel very at ease with all day long. And again, make sure they are taking the photos you want in the style you want. Not every photographer is the same, and it will show in the end. And as far as video goes, don’t overspend. I may be biased on this because it’s what I do, but you have to ask yourself, if you want to spend $5,000 – $10,000 Hollywood movie about your wedding that only lasts 30 minutes, or do you want to spend $1,500 – $3,000 on a documentary about your wedding that shows things as they happened and the DVD is 2 hours long? This is a personal choice about style, but it’s an important to think about.

Also take into consideration if you are highering a large company that does 5 weddings a day with different teams, or are you talking to the actual person at your wedding because they are a two person company and the only wedding they worry about that day is your wedding?

Limos

I don’t have much advice about limos. For the most part, they get you from point A to point B. The important things to think about are who will be in the limo(s), and what can you afford. Most packages start at 3 hours, we have added onto that for our wedding just to make sure they don’t have to get up and go. I have heard and seen some rude limo drivers. The best thing to do is ask other people who they used and if they were nice or not. We are renting two vehicles for our wedding. One is a 8 Passenger limo for the parents, and the other is a limo bus so that the whole wedding party can be together. Again, this all comes down to what you want and what you can afford. However, don’t wait to the last minute. If you are having a wedding in June, so are a 100 other people that day and they all need limos. As soon as you know your locations and your times, book your limo.

Flowers

Now I am not a florist, and nor could I tell you what colors certain flowers are, all I can tell you is that you need flowers. You need to make an appointment for this, so call ahead. Flowers need to match your color scheme and your wallet. Get what you can afford and don’t over spend. At then end of the day, no one will be talking about how lovely the flowers were, or at least they shouldn’t. And if you are looking to save on your flowers go to Stop & Shop or any supermarket that has a florist. It’s a florist, they do weddings, and they cost less.

Cake

This another don’t over spend moment. The keys are that it taste great, looks good, doesn’t fall over, and you can cut it and throw it in each others faces. My best friend tricked everyone with his cake. The cake that everyone saw them cut wasn’t even the actual cake. It was all cardboard except for the part that they cut. Afterwords, they wheeled the cake in the back and there they had a regular sheet cake that they cut up and served. I had that idea for 2 years.

The Little Stuff

This is the point where I realize why there are books about this stuff, not just small little Internet articles. But I have to tell you that the amount of little things that need to happen are never ending. You will be doing check lists up until the night of the wedding. What is a good idea is to actually write down a check list with your future spouse everyday, divide the tasks and finish them. You will feel less stressed and you will get a lot done.

Helpful Links

WeddingReports.com – A CT and NY area vendor list for vendors

The Knot – Country Wide vendor listings

Keith Michael Productions, LLC – My business web site for video services

Those of you that have gotten married know what a process it is, but for those of you that have yet to experience it, let me tell you a bit about it. Way back when we set the date, I knew there would be a lot of work, but you never really know how much it is until you are deep in it. The wedding day itself may only last a mere 10 hours, but you will have put almost a solid month of time into planning. I’m talking imagine only working on a wedding for a month straight without sleep. That is how much time you will spend on your own wedding. You will spend hours (and miles on your car), meeting with some vendors that you will never meet again. And then the ones that you do hire, you will spend even more time, calling, emailing, meeting with again and again. And then the parents get involved, and you have to set budgets, and limits on guests. Who to invite, who to put on the B-list and who to say, “sorry, we just cant invite anyone else.”

Really, the list of things that you have to plan for goes on and on, and really you are never done planning. You also have to think about the logistics of health insurance, where you are going to live, and a mess load of other things. This may seem like I’m venting on how stressful it can be, and well, maybe I am. But it is at this time that people start asking are you getting nervous, cold feet, and so on. I say no, it’s not that at all. If anything, I’m anxious. We have worked so hard for so long. The engagement lasted 1 1/2 years, and we have been planning for this one day since then. Am I a little nervous? Yes. I mean, I’m not nervous that she is going to say no, I’m more nervous of making sure I don’t choke on my words, someone doesn’t pass out, everyone has a good time. And I always think it’s good to be a little nervous, but with two weeks to go, I am very anxious.