This is where Boxee comes in. Still in it’s Alpha testing phase (that is before beta testing), Boxee is a replacement for the Front Row software found on most new Macintosh Computers. It allows you to do many of the same things, browse your content, stream it over the network, watch it on your computer, etc… They even have a version to install onto Apple TV, which will add itself as a menu item on your Apple TV menu. What sets Boxee apart from Front Row aside from its GUI, is that its latest update has added the ability to stream from the internet many popular streaming sources, such as CBS, Comedy Central, CNN, NBC, YouTube, Flickr, and my favorite, HULU. You could go to all of these sites on your own, and watch the various shows, but now they have been gathered together in one convenient program that will currently allow you to watch them on your Mac or Apple TV. Not a fan of Apple? Don’t worry, they are coming out with a PC version very soon.

The real question is, could you ditch your cable company for an internet streaming medium? Well, it depends on what you are watching. If you like to watch live news and sports, or some of the things you watch aren’t streamed on these sites, than chances are you aren’t there. However, if you are a person who barely watches TV, or only watches a handfull of shows, and you rather watch them when you have the time, then this could be the move for you. Your major cost will be your media box, whether it be an Apple TV (purchased from eBay), or a Mac Mini, and in the future, a mini PC. You can load this software on, and be up and running in no time (as long as you have a good connection to the Internet).

The current downside I see with this technology is that you are going to plug in this box that is streaming Internet Flash video into your nice big HDTV. The quality may not be what you are looking for. Then again, it is still in Alpha stage, they could be adding the option so that you are able to stream the High Quality version of the video. On the other hand, if you are in college, or only have a small TV, or may just want to watch TV in your bed room on your Lappy, while laying in bed, this could be the answer for you, and save you a bundle on cable costs every month.

Please note: because this is still in the Alpha test phase, it is not available for wide spread download just yet. You have to sign up and they may or may not send you a download link and allow to create an account.

The network once known for its tendency to, you, know, play music and whatever, is now known as the place has-beens go to find love, lose weight and/or find themselves (read: die without dignity). Disappointed as I am by this fact, I must admit I do tune in to watch these monumental disasters unfold. Heck, I watched the aforementioned show until the bitter end, when Oscar de la Hoya’s Niece (yeah, really) went up against a TV Host to vie for Poison Lead Singer’s affections. I was altogether entertained, nauseous and, well, a bit jealous.

I know I’ve probably elicited a very negative reaction from readers with that statement. But let me explain: I wasn’t jealous of the Rock of Skanks skanks. I wasn’t jealous of Bret “No This Bandana That I Never Take Off Isn’t Masking my Male-Pattern Baldness” Michaels. But I was jealous of his bank account. Seriously, how much cash money do you think that guy’s made by appearing on two seasons of VH1’s highest-rated show (I’m not kidding)? So here’s what I’ve decided:

Shibow’s lookin’ for love.

I should probably state for the record that I am somewhat spoken for, in case my “new flame” (as he was recently referred to as by a fellow diner at a pretty decent restaurant I’ll somehow work in to a future post) reads this, takes me seriously and storms off into the night, to be heard from only after the show has ended and US Weekly hunts him down for dirt. Then again, I’m fairly certain almost all of these wash-ups have a piece on the side (example: After the season 2 finale of Flavor of Love, it was revealed that Flav had actually knocked up a completely different woman, and there went his otherwise most certainly sold relationship with Deelishis), so I really shouldn’t feel as bad about the whole sham.

As you’ve probably already guessed from the title, I’ve decided to call the show Sybil Wars, because I believe it’s high time I started embracing at least some of the joke-y variations on my name (I shall never, though, accept Nipple as a valid nickname). I also realized that due to my lack of patience with, well, everything, and my slight attention deficiency, I should cut the number of contestants to five. Let’s take a look at our lucky contenders:

Bret Michaels- Because I need an excuse to get that damned rag off of his head, and because I believe the man needs a taste of his own Poison…tee hee (Yeah! Oh yeah! Totally just high-fived myself! So clever!).

Jaleel White- aka Steve Urkel, just because I’d like to find out what the hell’s happened to him.

Dude from Chumbawumba- (see above)

Steve the Dell Dude- Do you remember this guy? He had a pretty huge cult following until a marijuana bust ended his reign. I always thought he had some sort of serious disorder on which Dell was capitalizing. Now’s my chance to find out for sure!

Buddha from I Love New York 2- Because every show needs an acting coach/actor/lifecoach/motivational speaker/former guest on Blind Date. Surely, the bald one is here for all the right reasons.

Now, we move on to the various challenges I plan to impart on my five possible mates. Most of these challenges have been borrowed from other shows of a similar nature. Actually, to be quite honest, most of these challenges have been borrowed from Rock of Love, which provided more than enough material for Sybil Wars.

Challenges (which, as I am, again, not terribly attentive, will all take place in the first episode) will include:

- fellating phallic-like food objects (this one was actually taken from That’s Amore, another gem of a dating show)

- participating in an extreme sport whilst protecting our unborn child in a stroller (Rock of Love)

- performing while trapped — or, I guess, willingly placed — within a coin-operated transparent case, where another quarter means you get to dance, monkey, dance! (yep, Rock of Love)

- perform the ultra-complicated bharatanatayam while singing a popular Top 40 song of Vh1’s — oops, I mean my — choosing (That one was all me!)

- here, I was going to include “grill your exes.” I’ve decided, however, that in order to best protect both myself and anyone I may ever come in contact with, I’m going to grill your doctors.

Instead of making you all trudge through the boring first 35 minutes or so, I’ve decided to simply cut to the elimination.

Elimination

Sybil, in her finest sari, stands in the center of a well-lit, brightly-colored room, staring down her five possible mates, who stand terrified in a snake pit.

Sybil:

Jaleel, while I was shocked by your affair with Laura Winslow — by the way, girl who played Laura Winslow, I’ll never learn your real name — and while I’m still not completely convinced you’re over her, you went to town on that popsicle, which clearly means you’re madly in love with me. Come, claim your samosa.

The next samosa goes to a guy I’m pretty sure I can live without, but in order to allow for a possible death-match between yourself and Urkel later in the season — a la your run-in with Tailor Made during your last gig — I’ll keep you just a bit longer. Buddha, come to me.

The third samosa goes to someone who I actually thought was in a permanent vegetative state until a snack-sized bag of oregano sent him into fits of excitement, then euphoria, then confusion, then seizures. If that’s not charming, I don’t know what charming means. Steven the Dell Dude, would you come down here, please?

And now I have two marginally famous men in front of me, and only one samosa in my hand. Now I know who I’m going to give this to, and I’m sure all of you do as well, but in order to draw this mind-numbing process out a bit longer, we’ll go to break.

——–

We’re back, and in order to kill time, I’m going to remind everyone that I have TWO MARGINALLY FAMOUS MEN in front of me, and only ONE SAMOSA LEFT.

Dude from Chumbawumba, you’ve kept yourself together quite well these past ten years since your first and last inexplicably big hit. Disappearing into oblivion has served you well. The fact that you were the only contestant to not mistake our baby’s head for the ball during X-TREME Dodgeball also enlightened me quite a bit on your parenting skills. Still, your efforts in the peep show were pathetic at best, which makes me doubt your affection for me. Your admission that you’ve got no affection for me also makes me doubt your affection for me.

Bret, I’m not sure how you made it on to this show. The suits sort of pressured me into squeezing you in. I’m assuming that things with Amber didn’t work out, which astounds me. I am trying to think of something positive to say to you in order to make it seem as if I am actually struggling with whether or not to send you home, but instead, I am just going to ramble for a bit and hope our viewing audience doesn’t catch on. Your reluctance to let me see you without your bandanna, in addition to the results of your physical exam, (which I would reveal on national television were it not for our time constraints) ultimately may have possibly sealed your fate.

Bret, would you come up here please? Bret, I’m supposed to say you’re an amazing person. So…yeah…you’re an amazing person. But, I’m sorry, I would not tap that. Please pack your goods and bounce.

And Scene.

Now I’m trying to decide whether or not to a. have the snakes in the snake pit be poisonous, as this would aide in my decision-making process (survival of the fittest and all) and b. have he who is eliminated be kicked out of the house or killed. I’m also trying to decide whether or not to choose a mate in the finale and break up with him during the reunion show or just completely disappear three episodes in, as I have a feeling even I may not make it through to the end. Hell, let’s make this part of the excercise interactive, in order to encourage a bit of audience participation. You’re up, readers. Make my dreams come true.

TV and radio have always gone hand-in-hand with commercials, and with that, the ability to control when their content airs. Radio won’t really be to focus of this article as they have adapted differently. Briefly I will say this, Radio has evolved from being a local broadcast that everyone tuned in to. More than just music and talk shows, there were comedy and dramas on the radio. With the advent of TV, radio has been phased to a either news/sports talk or music. In an age when radio budgets started to shrink and corporations owned more and more stations, they began automating more and more. This saves on cost, but also takes away any real Disc Jockeying the DJ needs to do. Also, ever since the 8-Track was installed in cars, a transition has occurred where the radio was all you listened to in the car to a back up, or for me a place to listen to the game while I am driving. The 8-track lead way for the tape deck which led way to the first mix tapes, and then mixed CDs, and now the 80gig MP3s. Really, what’s a radio even doing in a car anymore. Ok, back to TV and the Internet.

When the Internet first made its way to the public, no one saw it as a threat. Maybe a way to advertise their company, a place for people to meet and exchange ideas, but the technology of the time really limited what you could do with it. But as computers have become faster, hard drives become bigger, graphics become smoother, and bandwidths have become fatter, the media companies have become more afraid. Sure, you can argue that all the major media companies have web sites, and the embrace the Internet. This is true, because they would die if they didn’t. What really ruffled the feathers of the media giants was the birth of YouTube. When YouTube first hit the Internet, I thought it was cute, but I didn’t think that it would take off like it did. Boy, do I have egg in my face now. YouTube is huge, and it isn’t just a bunch of videos of a guy getting hit in the crotch. In fact, it’s video of other shows with people getting hit in the crotch. Did I say other shows? As in a user posted copyrighted material? Yes I did, and that is what the Media companies don’t like.

YouTube is now that place where people look up clips of their favorite shows and share them with their friends. It is the ultimate in “dude, you have to see this” technology. The problem the media has is that people are watching their content without watching the commercials which pay their bills. And on top of that, YouTube is making money off of it. Companies such as NBC and Viacom have instructed YouTube to pull any videos of their content. Many TV networks have tried to fight back by actually hosting their own videos online. You can go to their website and watch this weeks episode, with of course, limited commercial interruption. They still need to pay them bills.

As a viewer of media, this is where I see the media companies messing up. Don’t tell YouTube, or Dailymotion, or any other video sharing website to take down your content. So what if people aren’t watching your shows on your station at the time you want them to while watching your commercials. In the short term, I would agree that this is bad for business, but consider this. There are a lot of shows out there in this world, and I just don’t have the time to even DVR all of them. If only there was a way a friend of mine could share their favorite moment of this one show. And say I watch that moment, and I decide that I really like this show, and as a result, I start tuning in. Wow, you just gained a viewer. A good example is SNL. I have only watched one episode of SNL during its actual time slot in maybe the past five years. If it wasn’t for YouTube, I would never of seen Justin Timberlake sing “D*ck in a Box”. And I am going to guess that neither would of millions of others. Now people see that and think to themselves, “wow, SNL has some funny stuff again, maybe I’ll tune in next week (or at least DVR it).” See how that helps? Look media companies, all I’m saying is don’t mess the future of technology and media. As it is your a young media too, and if books can survive for as long as they have, well then why can’t you. Stop damning things like YouTube, instead, let it slide. Heck, even create an account and post things there yourself. It might actually help.

February 19, 2009 is going to change all of that.  A couple of years ago when I was still working in the radio industry, I heard the rumblings of a new law going into place that was going to impact every TV viewer in the country. The law is really twofold. The first step was for every TV network to upgrade to all digital equipment. This means that all the studios had to upgrade their cameras and their editors to digital.  This took a few years, and in that time many of you have noticed more and more HD channels showing up. Why a few years, and not one or two? Cost. A lot of cost has gone into the purchase of equipment and the re training of staff at every network.

The second part of the law is when the analog broadcast switch is getting shut off. And that date is February 19, 2009. Now I have been confused by this, and I can only imagine that many others are confused as well. That’s why I have decided to do some research, and here is what I have learned.

First of all, DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR TV!!!!  It doesn’t matter how old your TV, this switch to digital does not mean that you have to throw away your old TV that you have had your 10 years or more and go out and buy a $2000 Flat Screen (unless you really would like to use this as an excuse to go out and buy one).  Here is the good news to everyone that wants to continue to use their rabbit ears. The same government that has created this law is in a sense, giving away the solution to all of your problems. If you visit the TV Converter Box Coupon Program web site, you can apply for two $40 gift cards to purchase an analog to digital converter box for your analog TVs.  The site also contains more information about the digital switch.

If you are using cable and have a cable box, you are all set. That box converts the signal for you.  If you plug in directly your TV with the cable, check to see if your TV is Analog or Digital. This information can be found in the users manual. Or if you are like me and don’t keep those things, always trust in Google to find the manual for you. The other rule of thumb that I have been reading is that if you bought your TV before 1998, it is Analog. If you have a fancy new HDTV, you are most likely all set. But it is good check to make sure it says that it has a Digital Tuner versus just saying that it is Digital TV ready.  The latter means that it does not have the tuner built in. 

As for me, I’m going to apply for those $40 gift cards and buy me some converter boxes.  I may not need them, but I might find out that my grandmother didn’t know about this, and she needs a converter.  Better to be safe than sorry.

Update 2/19/08

Here is another helpful web site http://dtvanswers.com/