So I get the enviable job of deciding just how Sybil is going to entertain herself during her furlough.

And what a job. There have been some great suggestions. Everything from heavy drinking to adopting livestock.And I’m loknig forward to see what is suggested in subsequent week. But this week’s challenge will be:

I dare you to live on the roof of my building for a weekend. Friday night to Sunday mid day.

1655 Union Street
Brooklyn, NY 11213

You must stay on the roof rain or shine. (I will give you 10 bathroom passes for 10 minutes each, no showering or brushing)

Of course, the best part of my job is tweaking things. You must also live in the roof for the weekend with Brian, and this must take place in the next couple weekends. Subsequent dares will be solicited in the meanwhile, so get back on it kids!

–Judge Justin.

Update 2.2 promises some nice things for the iPhone user. The first thing that I noticed was Safari was a little different. The address and search bar are on the same line similar to how Safari looks on my computer.

The next thing I really noticed was the Maps App. Now when you go to look up directions, you can get walking directions (very handy when walking through the city. I could have used this last year). You can also get mass transit schedule/directions which I find very cool. I just did a test from work back to my apartment and showed me where to get the bus, where I would transfer, and when where the destination will take me along with times for the next available bus and I can also see the schedule for the rest of the day. Again, I imagine this would be really awesome in the city.

Another great thing that I look forward to playing with later is the ability to download podcasts right on the phone. I enjoy a podcast or two, but I am not one that syncs my phone everyday, and as a result, I end up with a lot of podcasts not being enjoyed. However, now that I can download them right to my phone, I may find myself listening to podcasts while driving everywhere. I can’t wait to test this out in the car. Now I’m off to find a good Podcast…

For full details on the update, visit Apple.com

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Last week in the midst of my web wanderings, I was inspired by an old advertisement that I read. Yes, I was inspired by an advertisement. Actually, anyone who knows me at all should not be surprised that I, paragon of character depth that I am, would be inspired by an advertisement. I’ve also been known to be inspired by tea bags, fortune cookies, the homeless, The Incredible Journey, country music and a squirrel outside of my window.

Of course, this is not just any advertisement. This was once voted as the greatest advertisement of all time. See, the story goes like this: Caddy had a new model out, which had some dependability issues (imagine that). Since reliability has been Cadillac’s USP (unique selling proposition), Packard was successfully increasing their sales by making a hoopla about the about quality issues in the press. Cadillac responded with the ad, only run once in the Saturday Evening Post January 2, 1915. The Brilliant copywriter Theodore MacManus (a fellow scot) wrote an triumphantly inspiring ad that never once mentioned Cadillac. It was successful because true or not, we all think of ourselves as leaders, bogged down by the critics, nay-sayers, haters, ill-wishers, guff-givers, armchair quarterbacks, worst-episode-everers and the IRS.

THE PENALTY OF LEADERSHIP

In every field of human endeavor, he that is first must perpetually live in the white light of publicity. Whether the leadership be vested in a man or in a manufactured product, emulation and envy are ever at work. In art, in literature, in music, in industry, the reward and the punishment are always the same. The reward is widespread recognition; the punishment, fierce denial and detraction. When a man’s work becomes a standard for the whole world, it also becomes a target for the shafts of the envious few. If his work be mediocre, he will be left severely alone – if he achieves a masterpiece, it will set a million tongues a-wagging. Jealousy does not protrude its forked tongue at the artist who produces a commonplace painting. Whatsoever you write, or paint, or play, or sing, or build, no one will strive to surpass or to slander you unless your work be stamped with the seal of genius. Long, long after a great work or a good work has been done, those who are disappointed or envious, continue to cry out that it cannot be done. Spiteful little voices in the domain of art were raised against our own Whistler as a mountback, long after the big would had acclaimed him its greatest artistic genius. Multitudes flocked to Bayreuth to worship at the musical shrine of Wagner, while the little group of those whom he had dethroned and displaced argued angrily that he was no musician at all. The little world continued to protest that Fulton could never build a steamboat, while the big world flocked to the river banks to see his boat steam by. The leader is assailed because he is a leader, and the effort to equal him is merely added proof of that leadership. Failing to equal or to excel, the follower seeks to depreciate and to destroy – but only confirms once more the superiority of that which he strives to supplant. There is nothing new in this. It is as old as the world and as old as human passions – envy, fear, greed, ambition, and the desire to surpass. And it all avails nothing. If the leader truly leads, he remains – the leader. Master-poet, master-painter, master-workman, each in his turn is assailed, and each holds his laurels through the ages. That which is good or great makes itself known, no matter how loud the clamor of denial. That which deserves to live – lives.

The ad was resurrected in 1967 and mailed on scrolls to Caddy owners — including one Elvis Presley. He immediately had it framed and it hung in his office. In fact, it’s still hanging on the wall in Graceland for visitors to appreciate today.

a. be the fruitcake my parents insist everyone loves
b. contain some piece that could lead to a choking hazard and lead to a recall (sorry kids, I don’t make the toys, I just buy them, albeit begrudgingly) or;
c. suck.

Nope, this holiday is all about massive Charlie Brown floats (Macy’s parade, what what!), football (Don’t you hate those tools who never help out with the dishes because they’re too busy watching the game? I’ll be one of those tools this year.), and the actual giving of some thanks. So, instead of dropping some actual knowledge on ya’ll (I don’t think you’re ready for that jelly), I decided to be really selfish (but also, hopefully, a little entertaining) by giving you Shibow’s Reasons to Love Thanksgiving.

1. This:

2. It forces you to you know, like, think and whatever. At least in does in my family. Even though my post thus far has made me sound as if I hate everyone and everything—which may or may not be true—I actually appreciate the whole “Let’s go ’round the table and each name something we’re thankful for” bit. It’s kind of nice. But if anyone asks, I didn’t write that. Someone swooped in and edited this post to make it seem like I had a soul.

3. Bollywood’s got nothin’ on us. Ok, maybe they do, but still. Since I’ve officially graduated to amused spectator, I can now enjoy the annual Kollappallil kids Thanksgiving performance. It has, over the years, gone from being a straightforward, historically inaccurate history of the holiday, complete with construction paper pilgrim hats and Native American feathers to, most recently, a (maybe more accurate) talk show featuring a belligerent turkey. Kids these days are so creative. Oh—sidebar— if any of my family members are reading this, keep whatever photos you may have of a decked out Pilgrim Shibow TO YOURSELF, or you will pay. (NOTE: AAVR Magazine will pay for these photos -Ed. )

4. See below.

Believe it or not (if you’re the unlucky fella I attempted to bake this for last year, you fall into the “or not” category, but we all make mistakes, hater), I made this pie . That’s my stove top and everything. I swear. I’ve made this pie many times, and it’s come out looking like the above (meaning freaking perfect) exactly twice, which should explain why I felt a photo op was necessary. Meringue is just not as easy as my girl Nigella Lawson makes it out to be.

Yeah, I’ll admit it: I’m a baker. What of it? I’m that chick from Grey’s Anatomy (not that I watch that… I just hear stuff). You know that chick—the annoying, outspoken speech-y blond chick who cranks out muffins whenever she’s had a bad day in the ER. Yeah. I’m that girl. And this is my day.

5. I get to be selfish. Did I mention that already? Well, whatever, it’s all about me anyway. Basically, now I get to bombard you with a list of things I’m thankful for:

a. This. Because a little shameless plugging never hurt anyone.

b. Kanye West. Because when I don’t want to be me, I can just Be Kanye.

c. Justin Colby [is currently editing this post and may have inserted himself into this list].

d. Important stuff which I refuse to elaborate on, mostly because I will stop writing if I find out one of my posts elicited an “awww” from someone.

e. The Book of Sheda (as in Sheda Brown, my one phone call, should the need for a bail-out ever arise). This is a publication that is not yet available to the general public, but will be once I hit the jackpot/marry Warren Buffett. The teachings of Sheda have helped me through many a rough patch, including, but not limited to, a recent falling out I had with a [and you call yourself a] friend. Included:

“I’d tell him, you’ve got problems. If I had a car, I’d probably walk outside and find you keyin’ it up.”

“I’m not crazy because you say I’m crazy, I’m crazy because I know I’m crazy.”

“You need to buy him a dress in his size.”

“This is not Jenny Jones.”

“I wish somebody would just roll me home.” Indeed, Sheda. Indeed.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a meringue to perfect.

Joe The Plumber

I guess sometimes, it’s about being in the right place at the right time. Now, I am certain that Joe Wurzelbacher (you might know him by his nom de plume, Joe The Plumber) is a driven, god-fearing, decent guy. Seriously. I’m not going to demonize him. But, he is one lucky son of a gun. Just by showing up to a rally and speaking up, this guy is going to check off half of my bucket list:

- be a country music star

- be on TV

- Have a mafioso-style nickname (my nickname in my old neighborhood, blanquito, doesn’t count)

- Write a book that someone actually reads

That’s right, my boy Joe wrote a book. I’m going to give him the free promotion, because I’m sure he’ll do the same for me on his web site when I write my book. (yes, I know that’s not actually him)

Recycle

There are many things that we use every day that many of use just throw away, even though they can be recycled. The ironic part is that some products that we don’t recycle are ones that we are consuming to try and be healthy. I’m of course talking about water bottles. Bottled water has become huge in the past couple of years, and so has its impact on the environment. From the web site AllAboutWater.org:

According to a 2001 report of the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF), roughly 1.5 million tons of plastic are expended in the bottling of 89 billion liters of water each year.

That was in 2001, I can only imagine that the number has grown. Some companies are redesigning their bottles to use less plastic, but they are still using mind-blowing amounts of bottles. And what do I see all the time? People just throwing them in the garbage. At least soda bottles have the chance that someone is going to dig them out of the trash for the money, but not water bottles. Listen here people, drinking water is a great idea and is healthy, but let’s keep the planet healthy has well. At home, but your water bottles in the recycling bin, and at work, do the same thing. Encourage your friends and co-workers as well. And you can also try to stop buying bottled water. Go out and by a water bottle and a filter system. This saves production energy and waste material.

But wait, there are more than just plastic bottles to be recycled. In fact, every town that has a recycling program has a list of material that you can but in your plastic bin. Cans, bottles, newspapers, magazines, cardboard… well, these are the basics, but each town is different and they are always expanding, so be sure to check it out on a regular basis. I would recommend that once a year you should see what materials your town recycles. But wait, there is even more than what can go in that bin, and should definitely NOT go in the garbage. Things like batteries and electronics should not be thrown in your garbage. Instead, you can find places that will take these items. Many computer companies like Dell will actually take away your old computer for recycling when you buy a new one for a low fee. Some electronics and office stores will take your batteries, which if thrown in the landfill will leak their acid and then that will end up back in our drinking water. And if you are in a small office, there are companies that will come and pick up your electronic waste.

Of course, all the recycling in the world doesn’t mean anything if you don’t start supporting recycled products. Consider purchasing recycled paper for your printer and your kids school note books. In the home purchase paper goods made from recycled paper products. In our house we have started using toilet paper made from recycled material from Seventh Generation. Consider for a second that when you buy toilet paper, you are buying a product made from trees that were cut down with the sole purpose of wiping your but. Think about that for a minute… Now doesn’t it seem silly to have a product made from trees to just wipe your but and then go down the drain? Instead, but Seventh Generation toilet paper, and at least the toilet paper was a newspaper, or someone’s college essay before it wiped your but.

Even though it may have been a buzz word in school growing up, today it is becoming a serious business. Recycling isn’t just good for the environment, but it’s also good for the economy. An entire industry has been created around recycling and there are several others that now depend on recycled goods. Please don’t let recycling stop, but help to make it grow. The resources on this planet are limited and we need to take care of good old mother earth.

To me, it seems like Chrysler has become that middle-aged cougar at the bar — at one point attractive, even sexy, and now dangerous, desperate, ugly and toxic. The only reason anyone is remotely interested in Chrysler is to get their grubby paws on their cash and the Jeep brand, but then they look a little closer and realize the baggage. I’ve even heard rumors that the selling price could be next to nothing, since the new buyer would be taking on so many liabilities of health care costs and bad loans.

All of the 3 have bad news to report, Ford and GM are running out of cash, to the tune that they could be more successful throwing gold bricks out the windows of the renaissance tower than trying to sell cars. I think that the domestic auto manufacturers are in a difficult position. I would agree with anyone that the industry has too much capacity as a whole, but on the other hand, I would be really sad to see GM or Ford go (goodbye Chrysler). Any big hits to the big three would mean bad news for American workers, the union movement, and ultimately our economy. I have a tough time with this one. I believe that industries should have to correct themselves, and that lesser players should be weeded out. However, I also lament the sad state of the American industrial sector, and hate to see fellow countrymen lose jobs, just so in 10 years foreign entities can open non-union factories in the south and pay lower wages.

The problems are industry wide, Toyota, Honda and Nissan are in trouble too, but the difference is that our companies have been bleeding cash for years and can’t afford to. This economic slump came at a vital point in the turnaround plan of the big two.

It’s anyone’s guess what the fallout will be from this whole thing, what will the American automotive landscape look like? I doubt the government will allow the whole industry to go belly up, so will Joe Taxpayer be on the hook for bailing out another industry? I’m uncharacteristically concerned and dismayed about this.

Really, though…really? We’re smack dab in the middle of one of the most important moments in our nation’s history, and CNN decides to employ some George-Lucas-circa-1977 moves to dazzle its audience? Even my man Anderson Cooper — who can do no wrong — got in on the shenanigans.

Click here for clips of the madness. Blink and you’ll miss Jabba the Hut! Thoughts?

Armed with farm-fresh leeks and a powerful hunger, I ventured into the kitchen to throw together something rich and creamy for these cold fall days. This satisfies that need, and its rich enough to provide leftovers for a few days.

With this basic recipe, you can have a lot of fun. Try substituting different vegetables , substituting Marsala wine, beef broth and mushrooms (delicious and hearty), or making it without vegetables and adding saffron and white pepper for an elegant side dish.

Lemony Leek Risotto

1/2 Stick Butter or 4 Tablespoons Olive Oil + 1 Tablespoon Butter
1.5 Cups Arborio Rice
About 3-4 Cups Chicken Stock (Good to have extra on hand)
2 Nice Sized Leeks
1/3 Cup Dry White Wine

Place a saucepan on the back burner with the chicken stock inside. Add salt and pepper, and bring to a slow boil, then turn down to simmer.

Meanwhile, in a deep frypan or other pan with a wide bottom, saute the leeks in the butter or olive oil until they begin to soften. This is also the time to add any herbs you want to include.

I like this recipe pretty basic, and add only salt and pepper near the end before serving. Saffron is also an option, but it is the most expensive spice you can buy, and the strong flavors of the lemon and leek here overpower the risotto. If you really want to use it, finely chop about a half teaspoon of the fibers and dissolve in 1/2 cup of the broth. Add about mid-way through the broth adding process (below)

At this point, styles diverge. Many cookbooks will recommend removing the leeks and putting aside at this point, while you sauté the rice. I, however, do not find that the leeks will become burnt or bitter if you keep the heat moderate and simply sauté the rice for about 10 minutes in the pan with the leeks. So do that. Screw it, I’m the boss here.

Add the wine to the mixture, and continue to stir with the rice mixture until evaporated. If you’ve removed your leeks, now is the time to put them back in. Now, begin to to add the broth one ladel-full at a time, stirring until absorbed before adding another ladel. Continue until kernels are soft in texture, but firm to the bite. (you may have broth left over. If you run out of broth and still feel the rice isn’t cooked, no worries, you can heat more, or if you are out, you can add bullion to boiling water in a pinch, or in the worst case, use water)

Add one more tablespoon of butter, salt and pepper to taste, the juice of one lemon, and 1/3 cup parmesan cheese. Serve immediately. For a special presentation, risotto can be packed into a small bowl or measuring cup and molded into a little dome on the plate, and accented with fresh parsley or thyme.